Marriage Story, a 2020 film featuring Scarlett Johansen has been nominated for multiple Oscars. The movie follows Johansen, her former husband (played by Adam Driver) and their young son as they attempt to navigate their breakup and bring closure to their marriage. (If you haven’t seen the movie, spoiler alert!)
What starts off amicably ends in a “scorched earth” situation as the two divorce lawyers, Ray Liotta and Oscar winner Laura Dern, escalate the conflict to a place of Academy Award winning drama. There are tears and fights, jealousy, false accusations, hurt feelings and steep legal bills.
Marriage Story follows a path of mutual destruction that is all too common and just as unnecessary.
What Marriage Story best illustrates is a missed opportunity for Collaborative Practice, and the power of the Interdisciplinary Team.
The amicable and affordable settling of differences may not make an Oscar nominated movie, but for families going through transition, it can be a relief to know there are better ways to handle divorce.
Marriage Story does a heart wrenchingly beautiful job of portraying the nuances of a marriage and a family. Johansen and Driver both poignantly convey the incredible array of feelings most couples experience as they contemplate and then begin to execute a divorce that involves their child.
What starts off amicably begins to escalate when Johansen’s lawyer begins to play hardball, to which Driver feels he has little choice but to respond with increased aggression. After all - access to his son is at risk.
Calculating precisely how aggressive to be in response to a looming custody battle isn’t really much of a choice, but Driver isn’t aware of the other options available to him.
Driver doesn’t know what divorce questions to ask and his lawyer, Liotta, doesn’t educate him. Instead, Liotta explains, red faced and in his usual manner of barely contained rage, “If we start from a place of reasonable, and they start from a place of crazy, when we settle, we will end up somewhere in between reasonable and crazy”
In an article in The Lawyer’s Daily, David Frankl, a family lawyer, writes that at this juncture, it could have been beneficial for Driver to get a second opinion from another lawyer. Frankl also mentions that kindness as a litigation strategy is underutilized as a de-escalation technique, and that mediation can be quite effective in even acrimonious situations.
The couple briefly attends a mediation session, but in true Hollywood fashion, this only deepens the divide between the two. The hotly contested items on the agenda are a (cross continent?) move, accusations of alcoholism, custody of their son and a financial settlement - all underlined by grief, anger, in- laws and hurt feelings.
If the couple had been made aware of the option of Collaborative Practice, the movie may not have been nominated for an Oscar, but all three family members would have been better off.
The power of Interdisciplinary Team Collaboration is substantial. The use of a highly experienced and educated team can deal very successfully with even the most acrimonious clients.
In Collaborative Practice, lawyers are still utilized, however they are committed to assist the family get to the best future for all. To get to that place of agreement in Marriage Story, a collaborative team would have helped provide support and guidance as guardrails on either side of the road to resolution. Each expert (legal, financial and psychology/child development) is highly trained in conflict resolution and collaborative practice, as well as their area of expertise. In this way the family receives support in all the aspects affected by divorce.
In Marriage Story, there are several gut wrenching moments where the couple’s son is obviously struggling with the changing dynamic. Professional support in the form of a Child Specialist can be invaluable to provide emotional support and tools, for both the parents and children.
Financially speaking, both parties need to extricate themselves from a shared financial situation and begin to co-create a plan that works to support the family in a new household structure. In divorce and separation, often expenses are doubled with the transition into two households which can be challenging to navigate. The advice and support of a financial professional can save untold hours that might otherwise end in conflict.
Team Collaborative Practice brings in the necessary professionals to assist the couple be ready for negotiations, and to facilitate and expedite peaceful divorce.
While perhaps not as dramatic or entertaining as watching Oscar Nominated actress Scarlett Johansen’s eyes well with tears, Team Collaborative Practice is the considered and compassionate alternative to litigation and it is this approach that deserves the Oscar..
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